Treesong's blog

For the past couple of months, I've been struggling with the most basic questions of economic survival. And now, for the past week, I've been dealing with the sudden and unexpected death of my mother. Given everything that's been going on, now seems like a good time to talk about life, death, and everything in between (and beyond).

My mother, Maureen, passed away in her sleep last Wednesday morning. She had been dealing with chronic pain and other health issues, but nothing that seemed to indicate just how soon she would be leaving us.

I don't know what to say, really. I loved my mother, and I still love her, wherever she may be. I don't claim to understand what exactly happens in the afterlife, but I believe that she is at peace, and I believe that she may be with my aunts, my grandfather, and other family and friends who passed on before she did.

Wherever she is, I'm sure she was touched by the response that people had to her passing. We held a wake and a funeral on fairly short notice, and yet dozens of people (almost a hundred?) came over the course of two days to pay their respects and express their love and appreciation for her. Family, neighbors, former co-workers, friends of family, all showed up from as nearby as Brookfield and as far away as Arizona. In her more self-effacing moments, my mother seemed to think that she didn't know very many people, or that people didn't give much thought to her. But many people came to mourn her passing, and so many of them had heartfelt appreciation and affection to share that went beyond the usual polite expressions of sympathy for the family.

A few of my friends here in Carbondale and elsewhere had started getting to know her through Facebook. Some of my other friends never got to know her at all. To those who never had the opportunity to meet her in person, though, I just wanted to take a moment to say that she had a hand in many of the good traits that my friends and loved ones seem to respect and cherish in me.

As someone said at the wake, she was a voice of conscience for many people in her life. She lived a hard life in many regards, especially at times when her life was touched by crime and poverty and other major life challenges. These challenges took their toll on her, and sometimes that toll was more than she or those around her could handle. But unlike many other people in similar circumstances, she took these hard times as lessons in the importance of social justice. When money was tight as a single mom, she fed her children first, and only ate after we had eaten our fill. When men mistreated her, she taught her sons and daughter to respect women and pay attention to women's rights and feminist issues. When she herself was struggling away at minimum-wage jobs, she joined in boycotts to protest the use of toxic pesticides on grapes that poisoned workers and the land. As she grew older and her life circumstances grew more stable, she devoted a good portion of her newly discovered free time to writing letters, following news stories, and making donations to various ecological and social justice causes.

Of course, I had many other influences in life that inspired me to become socially and ecologically conscious, including my brother and all of the activists I met in Southern Illinois and beyond. But in honor of her passing, I'd like to give credit where credit is due and say that my mother had a good hand in shaping the man I am today. Hopefully, the next time you see me out in the community supporting some cause or organization, you'll think of her and send your best to her, wherever she may be.

Now that I'm back in Carbondale, however, my thoughts have been thoughts of life and renewal rather than death.

Life is too short for us to waste our time on the things in life that don't matter. We should listen to our hearts to discover our true calling in life and pursue that calling with every ounce of passion we have in us.

I've believed this for a long time now, but watching someone I love pass away unexpectedly has really driven this message home for me. I'm still feeling too chaotic and confused to really focus this into action today, or put this into words properly tonight, but the feeling is there.

Are you happy with your life? Really, truly happy with the job that you work, the state of your friendships and intimate relationships, your role in the community, the state of the world around you? Or are you just going along with the status quo because it seems easier, safer, stabler than rocking the boat?

In yoga, as in meditation, we often talk about taking the time to be still and listen to our breath. Really, pausing to do this several times throughout the day can tell us volumes about whether or not we're really happy with our lot in life. Is your breathing naturally deep, slow, relaxed, untroubled by muscular tension in the neck, back, chest, hips? Or do you find your muscles tight, and your breath originating from your chest and throat rather than your abdomen?

Listen to the wisdom of your body. Muscular tension and shallow breathing are your body's way of saying no when your mind and your voice refuse to. No, I don't like this job. No, I don't like this relationship pattern. No, I don't like responding to problems in my world with apathy or cynicism.

If your body is saying no to these things, then your heart is probably saying no too. And life's simply too short to say no to the deepest genuine desires of your heart and spirit.

Why live in a persistent state of No when you could be living in a persistent state of Yes? Take the time to consider what you really want in life, and then take the time to do what you can to make it a reality. Even if the road is bumpy and unfamiliar, or doesn't lead where you originally thought it would, you'll be on the right path.

I believe that our deepest purpose in life is to find the divine spark within us and to make that spark manifest in the world around us. Somewhere deep inside of you, there is a great love, or a great passion, or a great inspiration, that has the power to transform your life and touch the lives of everyone around you. It may be something simple and humble that others will seldom take notice of, or it may be something grandiose and profound that will change the world as we know it. But whatever it is, your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to find that spark within you and bring your light into the world.

I feel like for a long time now, I've been doing a good job of finding that inner light within me. But I haven't always been able to bring it out into the world around me. It often seems like I need more energy, or more money, or more time, or more people in my life who believe as I do and have the time and energy and money to try something new and bold and exciting. And so, I take what I really want and I put it off until tomorrow, or I hide it away until I find the right people to share it with, or I settle for less than what I want and hope that maybe I'll do better someday.

But life is too short for this attitude. They say that justice delayed is justice denied -- and the same is true of our hopes and dreams. I'm not naive enough to believe that everyone's wildest dreams can be realized in this lifetime, or even that they ought to be. But I do believe that each of us can find a sense of purpose deep within ourselves, and that we can turn this sense of purpose into meaningful actions and relationships that may be more rewarding and amazing than we would have originally thought possible.

I'm still working out the specifics of what it is that I want to do with this life. But I know that it will involve writing, and I know that it will involve teaching, and I know that it will involve doing what I can to support the community groups of Southern Illinois and beyond. It will also involve sharing my life with many family, friends, and loved ones.

The outpouring of love and support that I received after my mother's passing reminded me that I've already come a long way in making my dreams a reality. Sure, I don't currently have many of the outward material signs of success that people usually look for. My income is low, my debt is slowly growing, and my current lack of steady cash flow is a major barrier to some of my personal and professional goals. However, I have more friends and loved ones than I can even count! If we were all teleported away somewhere, there would be more than enough of us to fill an entire village. So rather than lamenting what I don't have, I choose to celebrate what I do have. And I do have an entire community worthy of friends, a rich spiritual life, great love and kinship in the present moment, and great hope and prospects for the future.

Thank you to my family, my friends, and everyone else who was supportive and consoling about my mother's passing. And thank you to everyone else who has brought joy into my life and helped make life worth living. I hope to live another 50 to 100 years in good health and good spirits, but even if I were to pass on tomorrow, I would feel very blessed with the richness of relationships and experiences I've had so far in this lifetime. I thank all of you for your presence in my life, and look forward to spending more time with you on this wild and crazy journey we call life.

So, I haven't heard any official news yet about my most recent job interview. However, signs indicate that I'm probably not getting this job. Therefore, I'm putting renewed thought and energy into developing a Plan B.

Plan B is a long shot. It involves doing everything that I'm doing now, but better. Instead of writing occasionally, I will write daily, and submit at least one work of fiction and non-fiction per month. Instead of waiting for John A. Logan College to respond to my requests to submit more class proposals, I will organize and promote my own classes at another local venue, possibly in cooperation with other people who want to teach professionally in a non-traditional setting. Instead of waiting for people to invite me to give talks and lead workshops, I will promote myself as a public speaker and workshop leader.

This certainly isn't the "standard" or "traditional" approach to securing a full-time income. But the standard approach really hasn't worked for me. It's time for me to develop a plan that plays to my strengths. It's time for me to let go of the belief that earning money and pursuing my life's ambitions are two separate things. It's time for me to start believing that I can earn a living doing the work that I actually want to do, and that I have the skill and the passion to do, rather than limping along at an unpleasant minimum wage job in order to earn someone else a profit.

If you have any other suggestions, I'm open to them. I'm very poor right now, so I'd be willing to work a part-time job unrelated to my writing/teaching/speaking if I could find one. Here are my limitations and strengths:

LIMITATIONS

* I'm currently unable to do heavy lifting or manual labor for an extended period of time. I won't be able to finish rebuilding my core strength until I have more food money.
* No Wal-Mart and no McDonald's. First of all, I doubt they'd have me, given my hair/beard/beliefs. Second of all, I have vowed not to support either of them, and I would rather go hungry than go back on this vow.
* No Multi-Level Marketing or similar direct sales schemes. Period.
* I currently have no transportation and have never had a license. I intend to change both of these facts, but that will obviously require time and money.

STRENGTHS

* I have many miscellaneous computer skills, mostly focused around web design. Not enough to secure a full-time web development job, apparently, but enough to meet most people's needs.
* I have the communication skills and patience required to tutor and/or teach. I have taught professionally before and enjoy doing so.
* According to my grade school IQ test, my IQ is around 145. I've scored between 135 and 145 on shorter IQ tests I've taken as an adult. In other words, I'm a quick learner, and complex intellectual activity is second nature to me. In fact, I love doing challenging intellectual work to ensure that my mental acuity doesn't diminish over time.
* I can walk anywhere in Carbondale city limits and can take Jackson County Mass Transit to anywhere in the county.

Ideally, I'm looking for work related to writing, teaching, or public speaking. But I need the money, so I'll do any work that plays to my strengths and is not ruled out by my limitations. Unless I get any impressive suggestions from friends, though, my current plan is to see if I can get any more hours of part-time computer work and earn the rest of my income by increasing my writing, teaching, and public speaking.

Yes, I know this is a long shot. But as the saying goes, crisis is opportunity. My difficulty finding traditional employment has given me the opportunity to embrace my passion for my own creative approach. I'm confident that if I can make enough in the short-term to survive, I can build my career over time and eventually make enough to live quite comfortably.

If I'm wrong... well, then I'll have to develop a Plan C. In the meantime, I'm going with Plan B. Thanks for listening, and as always, let me know if you have any questions, thoughts, suggestions, or other random comments to share.

A few weeks ago, I started talking with people about the possibility of organizing a Superhero Festival (SuperFest?) here in Carbondale, IL this summer. Right now, my whole schedule is a big question mark because I'm waiting to hear back about a full-time job I recently applied for. If I get the job, I'll be short on time, but not money. If I don't get the job, I'll be short on money, but not time. Either way, I've decided to start organizing this Superhero Festival ASAP. Therefore, I'd like to know your thoughts on a few of the details, including any ways you'd like to be involved.

Here's what I have so far:

(1) Purpose. I'm organizing this for a few reasons. First of all, it'll be fun to have a big superhero-themed event here in Carbondale. Second, I'd like to use it as an opportunity to promote and fundraise for local community groups mentioned on my Causes page. Third, depending on my financial situation at the end of July, I'd like to do fundraising for my trip to Superheroes Anonymous 4, a gathering of Real Life Superheroes happening in Portland, Oregon in September.

(2) Date. Tentatively, I'd like to go for July 31. This gives over a month of prep time while still holding it before SIUC closes for intersession.

(3) Location. This is still up in the air. Current suggestions include Town Square Pavilion; the Civic Center; Gaia House Interfaith Center; Turley Park; and one of the ballrooms in the SIUC Student Center.

(4) Activities. Current suggestions: superhero costume contest; info tables for local community groups; kid's activities (games, drawing pictures of themselves as superheroes, learning about community involvement, etc.); a talk about what Real Life Superheroes are and how to make community involvement fun; live music; speakers during music intermission about ways to get involved in the community; and a raffle and other fundraising efforts for local community groups.

So, what do you think? I'm particularly interested in any suggestions you have about the above four points, or any help you'd like to offer in organizing the day's events.

If you'd like to get involved, please comment on the Note on my Facebook profile or contact me directly. Together, we can make this a fun, informative, and empowering Superhero Festival!

I decided last year that I would donate approximately 10% of my income to local charitable causes and community organizations. Therefore, I am donating 10% of my recent income tax refund to two local groups: The Women's Center and Food Works.

The Women's Center

The Women's Center provides many helpful services to survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. They have a 24-hour crisis hotline (618-529-2324); emergency shelter; food, supplies, and transportation; individual and group support and counseling; information, referrals, and education; legal, medical, and personal advocacy. Basically, if you are a survivor of domestic abuse and/or sexual assault, they will find a way to help you with what you need.

Unfortunately, our state budget crisis has had a negative impact on the Women's Center. Part of their funding comes from the State of Illinois, and the State of Illinois has dropped the ball. I don't know all of the latest details, but I read in the Nightlife a few weeks ago that they are still in serious trouble due to the state budget crisis. They've done all they can to keep key services in operation, but if the budget shortfalls keep coming, they will be out of luck -- and so will the people they serve.

The people at the Women's Center work very hard to provide support for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. They are on the front lines, dealing with heart-rending situations on a daily basis and providing support for survivors that often no one else is providing. Now, it's time for us as a community to show support for them in return.

Food Works

Food Works was formed to draw attention to local food, local farmers, and issues of social and environmental health. Their mission is “Local, sustainable food systems development for Southern Illinois.”

They, too, have been the subject of budget shortfalls due to the state budget crisis.

Developing local and sustainable food systems has always been an important ecological issue, but now a growing number of people are realizing that it is also a health, social justice, and national security issue.

If low-income people don't have access to local, fresh, ecologically grown food in their communities, then how can they remain healthy? And if virtually all of our food in Southern Illinois comes from distance sources, then what happens in the event of a natural disaster or other crisis?

These are questions that not enough people are asking. But the people at Food Works are asking these questions, and they're looking for solutions to the current shortcomings of our food systems in Southern Illinois.

Your Support

I know it's tempting in tough times to give less money to community and charity groups. I'm very low-income right now, and a part of me was tempted to just run out and spend my entire tax refund on silly frivolous things like extra food and paying off my credit card. But when the economy is rough, community groups are affected too, and it takes an extra effort on our part to ensure that they can keep going. And I have vowed that as long as I have income, the community groups I believe in will have income too.

I love Southern Illinois. In spite of the shaky economy, the hot and humid summers, the random inland hurricanes, and the many other quirks that sometimes make life here challenging, I love this place. I love my friends; I love all of the different groups and events in Carbondale and surrounding cities; I love the Shawnee Forest and other natural areas throughout this region. I love living here, and I believe that if we all come together and support awesome community groups like the ones listed on my Causes page, Southern Illinois will not only survive, but thrive and prosper.

I urge you to do what you can to support local community groups. Maybe this means donating money; maybe this means volunteering time; maybe this just means showing up at community events and telling people how much you appreciate the good work they're doing. Maybe it even involves getting creative and proactive and organizing some sort of music event, or art show, or organization that doesn't even exist yet. Whatever you feel is the best way for you personally to get involved is up to you. All I ask is that you resist the urge to be complacent, to be apathetic, to assume that someone else is going to take care of the problem and make sure these groups continue existing.

You are that someone. You have the power to make a difference for the better in your community. It won't always be easy, but together, we can make it happen.

Hopefully I'll see you out in the community. In the meantime, thanks for listening, and thanks for any support that you can send to these and other community groups. Your generosity and passion for the community groups you believe in is what makes Southern Illinois a place worth calling home.

I don't usually talk about immigration, or write about immigration, or even think about immigration. But since so many people have been discussing it lately, and since people I respect have spoken out on the wrong side of the issue, I thought I'd share my two cents.

I'd like to start this discussion by sharing a quote from "The New Colossus," a poem that is inscribed on a bronze plaque inside the Statue of Liberty:

"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

As Lady Liberty herself attests, this is the attitude toward immigration that characterizes a free society.

In today's entry, I intend to answer a question that humanity has struggled to answer for most if not all of its existence. What is a good society, and how do we get from here to there?

"Kick-Ass" is a new movie that came out last Friday here in the U.S. It's based on a comic book by the same name that features a high school student who decides to become a superhero in real life by donning a costume and going on patrol to fight crime.

I'm a big fan of superhero movies. I'm also a Real Life Superhero. Naturally, I was eager to check this out. Now, I'm equally eager to talk about it. First, I'll talk about the movie itself. (Spoiler Alert!) Then, I'll talk about the implications for the Real Life Superhero movement and society at large.

What is philosophy of politics?

Philosophy, the love of wisdom, is the deepening of our understanding of the world. Politics, the practice of citizenship, is the development of relationships between members of a society. Philosophy of politics, then, is the deepening of our understanding of the development of relationships between members of a society.

The political sphere in the U.S. at the moment is full of lively debate. Health care, climate change, same-sex marriage, war, and a variety of other topics are leading to increasingly contentious clashes between various social movements, large economic and political institutions, and various political parties and perspectives. So far, most of my response to this has consisted of scattered piecemeal commentary on single issues as they come up on Facebook or elsewhere. The time has come, however, for a more comprehensive analysis of the situation.

This week, I'm making a donation to the Carbondale Climate Action Network.

http://carbondaleclimateaction.blogspot.com/

As some of you may remember, CCAN organized the Sustainable State of the City address in December of last year. This was both in response to the local State of the City address and the global climate conference in Copenhagen.

CCAN is still a very young organization, and I've been involved with the group since before it even had a name. Human-caused climate change is one of the most important issues facing humanity at this point in history. Our current levels of carbon emissions are rapidly shifting the global climate out of balance. This isn't some projection for the future; the negative consequences to human beings, and the ecosystems that all life depends upon, have already started. If you'd like more information on the science, check out websites such as Skeptical Science: Examining Global Warming Skepticism and 350 (parts per million of carbon dioxide).

Speaking on the state of the city was only the start of our community involvement. Since that day, we've been following up on some of the points mentioned in our presentation and looking into ways in which Carbondale and Southern Illinois can become regional models of social, economic, and ecological resilience.

Currently, I think the most promising lead is the Transition Towns initiative.

The Transition Towns initiative invites us to ask ourselves the following question: How can our community respond to the challenges, and opportunities, of Peak Oil and Climate Change? Once we ask ourselves this question, the Transition Towns network offers a variety of resources that many communities have used, and are continuing to use, in order to transition toward a more resilient community life that can take us beyond Peak Oil and Climate Change.

We've started a discussion group in order to examine the Transition Towns movement and what it might look like here in Carbondale. It will take us some time to read and discuss the material. In the meantime, we're working on other events such as a seed exchange coming up on February 20th.

Our expenses are minimal, but our budget is non-existent, so this donation may go toward securing meeting or event space while we study the Transition Towns material and develop future plans.

If you'd like more information on the Carbondale Climate Action Network, I encourage you to visit our blog at the link above. If you'd like to show your support with a donation of time, energy, or funding, I encourage you to come to one of our meetings or contact me for more information.

Thanks for listening, and thanks for any support you can send our way!