I Want Masks And Distance From You

This song parody is part of the Pandemic Song Parody Challenge. To participate, write a pandemic-themed parody of a popular song & share it on social media with the hashtag #PandemicSongParody.

I Want Masks And Distance From You
(Parody of All I Want For Christmas Is You)

I don’t want viral transmission
There is just one thing I need
Evidence-based mitigation
Implemented at great speed
I just want the world to know
How to make this virus go
Make my wish come true
I want masks and distance from you

I don’t want science denial
in the name of unchecked greed
Don’t care about QAnon posts
And other conspiracies
I don’t need more bad excuses
For your wicked plague rat ways
Save it all for dear old Krampus
As he carries you away

I just want the world to know
How to make this virus go
Make my wish come true
I want masks and distance from you

I won’t stop until we get it
No more community spread
I just want to be sure we don’t
fill every hospital bed

I want schools to go remote now
Keep students and teachers safe
Childcare for the working parents
Stimulus would be so great

Cause I want to know tonight
Politicians get this right
What will help us through
Oh, baby I want masks and distance from you

All the mitigations
Are followed with great care
Keep it up a few weeks
And we’ll be in the clear

And everyone is singing
The all-clear bell is ringing
Won’t you all just bring me
the ending we all need
Won’t you please follow mitigations quickly

I don’t want viral transmission
This is all I’m asking for
I just want us all to safely
Step outside our own front door

I just want the world to know
How to make this virus go
Make my wish come true
Baby, I want masks and distance from you

I want masks and distance from you, baby

About

My name is Treesong. I'm a father, husband, author, talk radio host, and Real Life Superhero. I live in Carbondale, Southern Illinois where I write books and volunteer for the Illinois Initiative. Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Patreon to stay up-to-date on my latest cli-fi releases and Real Life Superhero adventures. Sign up for my newsletter to receive free cli-fi in your inbox.

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