Song of the Trees

It just fully dawned on me tonight that there is one more big reason why Brighid is my matron deity -- namely, her status as the mother of keening.

I've had a hard time finding good mythological narratives about Brighid. A thousand books and websites make references to the goddess, but few actually tell the tales in narrative form. Even so, one account that keeps reappearing is the tale of Brighid's keening.

In one version of Brighid's life story, she is the wife of Bres, and the two have a son named Ruadan. When Ruadan is killed in battle, Brighid goes to the battlefield to mourn the loss of her son. Her soulful wailing was so powerful and moving that from that day forward, people practiced keening [loud wails of mourning] at the loss of a loved one.

For a long time now, I've felt that a part of my role in life on a good day is to bring hope and inspiration to others. I can feel the presence of the Divine in all beings, and I have a powerful vision for how we can live together in greater harmony. Having said that though, I feel that there is another side of my vision and my feelings that I've not only neglected, but actively repressed -- namely, my own sorrow.

Some of this repressed heartache shines through in my poetry. I often go into a place of deep sorrow or anger before reaching a climax that is in some way uplifting -- or at least less depressing than the rest of the poem! But even so, the climax tends to be the focus rather than sorrow. And up until recently, my poetry was just about my only way of really feeling such sorrow. It's hard to describe, really. In retrospect, I'd say that the only thing worse than feeling such sorrow turned out to be feeling a great big hole inside of myself that was haunted by the echoes of a keening withheld.

So, I am once again inspired by Brighid. This time, I'm inspired by her keening. I've come a long way in breaking the spell that I cast on myself in adolescence to eliminate my emotions. But happy emotions can only take me so far in my journey of healing. If I really want to feel the presence of love in my heart, then I must also embrace my sorrow.

I already started doing this during my time in the healing school. But now, Brighid is helping me to do this more fully. This sorrow is becoming a part of who I am just as much as the love and light that I've always focused on. That may sound depressing to some, but I feel that my willingness to open my heart to such deep sorrow is one of the truest signs of love. And I hope that one day, like Brighid, this growing ability to embrace my own genuine sadness will help me to bring comfort to others in their moments of sorrow.


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