Song of the Trees

It's been a weird day. I have Wednesdays and Thursdays off of work now - my own mid-week weekend - and I spent the day with a combination of running errands, reading, writing, and reflection.

Sometimes I don't know which way is up or down anymore... Each day, I feel like I'm gaining more confidence in myself and in the potential for a better world, but this often only serves to confuse me. What's holding us back? How can I do my small part to remove that roadblock in myself, my community, and my society?

One conclusion I've been coming to lately is that all of the wisdom and knowledge that we human beings need to create a relative paradise on earth is already at our fingertips. In the confusion and oppression of contemporary society, we simply haven't put together all of the pieces of the puzzle yet.

I'm curious to hear you thoughts on the matter. Here are sample links of six puzzle pieces, or seeds of revolution, that I feel we need to put together in order to change the world:

Bioregionalism
Permaculture
Live and Raw Foods
Social Anarchism
Spiritual Healing
Warrior Healer

Can you imagine what it would be like if we united all of the above into a single movement for personal evolution and global revolution? Let me know what you think.
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I just came across a lovely new term: PermaRawCulture.

I found this term on the site of The Peace Farm, a small but incredible permacultural village forming in Costa Rica.

The term and the site are both very heartwarming for me. These people are combining principles of internal and external health: the personal health of the live / raw foods diet plus the planetary health of permaculture. In this way, they are creating a beautiful new reality that can serve as one of many inspirations for the Warrior Healer movement.

For your viewing enjoyment, here are two other permaculture links:

EcoForest
Permaculture Credit Union

Some day, all the world may be a permacultural garden. Dare to dream - and know that the dream begins with you!

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After a few weeks of rather intense-feeling chaos in my life, I've started to find my footing again. Given what I've been working through, that footing may soon be firmer than it ever has been before.

Essentially, I've been dealing with issues in my life that I've avoided for a long, long time - issues of who I am, how I feel about myself, and finding my place in the world. [For you chakra fans out there, these are 3rd chakra issues.] This includes the role of money my life, the anger/fear/frustration that I've been supressing in myself, and my tendency to deny any problems with all of the above by focusing on the positive and O.D.ing on fatty sweets whenever denial was impossible.

Once my money situation was temporarily thrown into chaos and my access to endless quantities of comfort food made uncertain, those dreaded 'negative emotions' that I'd been burying in my gut for years started showing themselves.

For example, when I finally accepted the fact that my laptop was stolen, I went home, took a pillow, and just whacked at a table in my house until I'd let out all the anger I could. This ended up being very healing, since I could then fill the space left by the released anger with love and acceptance. [I actually got the idea for this from the group process work we did at the healing school.]

It didn't always take something major to trigger it though. All of that anguish inside of me just recognized an opportunity for release and seized it! From deeply meaningful revolutionary rage to the most inane frustrations with everyday annoyances, I've been exploring some of my suppressed 'dark side' lately - and it's been quite a trip.

This ties in quite nicely with my earlier posts on darkness. If I embrace the 'dark' feelings, then I can transform them back into positive 'darkness', positive qualities and feelings - rage into passion, fear into love and concern, frustration into commitment and diligence. But if I continue to suppres them, they'll grow more and more rancid in the dank dungeon that I've fashioned for them.

Before I get any deeper into the dark though, I'd like to finish off with the very reason why I started this post - abundance!

The past few weeks have been a grand tour through some of my suppressed fears and anxieties in life - fears of scarcity, fears of abandonment, fears of failure. One or two of my recent posts have reflected that - I sure have been sinking into my work, eh? But now that I've gotten through the latest batch of 'processing' [working through an emotional/mental roadblock], I've returned to a renewed sense of abundance and hope.

Take today, for example. Due to the summer bus schedules, I ended up walking 3+ miles to the Farmer's Market to get my weekly dose of Farmer Steve's delightful ecologically grown produce, along with the International Grocery's amazing young coconuts next door. I also ended up walking back 3+ miles, for a grand total of over 7 miles of walking today! In my previous funk, I would have seen this as an unbearable burden, but today I was actually smiling and happy as I carried my food home.

Why? Abundance!

First of all, I had the mindset of abundance. My thoughts weren't on what I don't have; they were on the wonders of what I do have, and the confidence that the Earth has enough for me to get by on. And I'm not talking supression of the negative here! It was a long walk, and I had plenty of time to think about why we don't have better public transportation and such. I was just plain happy about my 'food gathering' without needing to push away the negative.

Second, my budgeting has gotten to the point where I can eat good foods without worrying about overspending or undereating. I knew that I would be walking home with some incredibly delicious and nutritious food, especially the long-awaited coconuts, so I was more than a bit happy.

So even as the roller coaster ride continues [and it surely will], it's a journey that's very dear to my heart, and I've once again come to embrace that fact. I've got a fridge full of delicious food, I've got small amount of last week's paycheck set aside in the bank for upcoming expenses, and I know that I can build now on a foundation that I was largely lacking in the past.

In other words, even as I've gone deeper into my problems, life has only gotten better! Isn't it funny that way? It's enough to renew my hope for the world... this all ties in quite nicely with my Warrior Healer studies, but that's a whole nother blog entry coming soon to a treesong.org near you!
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The hot, sunny, and humid summer days of Southern Illinois have once again offered me a reminder of one of the USA's many theocratic policies: anti-nudity laws.

Anti-nudity laws are theocratic? You bet your bare bottom they are!

There's no secular reason, nor any rational reason whatsoever, for human beings to be forced to wear clothing in public. If some people wish to remain clothed in public at all times for religious or cultural reasons, that's their choice, and I respect that. But if some of us prefer to wear little or no clothing, then why should this purely nonviolent and personal choice be considered a crime?

We in the USA [and most parts of the 'developed' world] currently live in a culture that devalues and objectifies all things physical, including the human body. The body is seen as something dirty or provocative that needs to be covered up. Anti-nudity laws are often justified with language that sounds secular, calling nudity disruptive, obscene, or even sexual misconduct. [This last one is the most absurd, since nudity itself does not entail any sexual conduct whatsoever!] But this view of nudity as something offensive or even remotely sexual is rooted in particular religious traditions that not everyone in this nation adheres to. I certainly don't! And I'm not alone...

If you don't want to go naked in public, then don't. If you don't want to see naked people, then look the other way, tune it out, or move into a special community with people who share your cultural tastes. I don't want to see people wearing Nike swooshes, but I would never lock them in a small concrete room for extended periods of time for doing so. [Prison is also theocratic, but that's another story.] Enforcing your viewpoint on me and others like me through the threat of fine and imprisonment is a violation of my human rights - and just plain silly.

Since I'm a male, I have the 'luxury' of walking around in public without a shirt. I've been very grateful for this, both because I've been doing a lot of hot daytime walking lately, and because one of my health goals at the moment is to get as much sunshine on my bare skin as possible.

Someday, I hope to live someplace where I won't be arrested for walking down the street dressed [or undressed] as I see fit! Until then, I'll wear my shorts in public and spend the majority of my time addressing the other oppressive aspects of our society that are far more destructive. [As usual, you'll hear more of my thoughts and feelings on them as I encounter them in my life!]
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I've lived in Carbondale, Southern Illinois [USA] for seven years now. As I got ready for work today, it occured to me just how much this town has brought into my life - some of it negative, but much of it positive. The key word may be "challenge." Living here has challenged me to face my greatest fears, discover who I am, and create a life for myself that includes [but isn't limited to!] my heartfelt desire to make a difference in the world.

Allow me to cite a few examples:

Carbondale introduced me to ecology, ecodefense, activism, and radicalism. Through my involvement in the Student Environmental Center, Shawnee EF!, and other groups, I learned to love the Earth and take action in its defense. Through my Ecology and Ethics studies at SIUC, I learned about the Institute for Social Ecology, where I eventually spent two summers studying Ecology and Community.

Carbondale is also where I first became aware of and involved in peace activism and a wide array of social justice issues. Good stuff; 'nuff said.

Carbondale also introduced me to spirituality and healing. This is where I learned about the living or raw foods diet, the Barbara Brennan school of Healing that I later studied at for a year, and the spiritual tradition and community that now have a dear place in my heart. The Interfaith Center here in town has also been home to many precious community experiences for me, allowing dialogue with people of different faiths and helping me to see the connections between spirituality, politics, ecology, community, and healing.

I would also call this the town that has taught me the nature and value of friendship. For a long time, I was too timid and withdrawn to form deep and lasting bonds with people. Through my involvement in community groups, my roommates at the Oak House, my travels that all began with Carbondale as a launching pad, and other community experiences, I've begun overcoming this hurdle in my life.

To sum up all of the above:

When I came to this town, I was painfully shy and withdrawn, depressed, frequently ill, actively suicidal, and generally unsure about my direction in life. Seven years later, I still have a lifetime of healing ahead of me, but I am comfortable among people, mostly upbeat, rarely seriously ill, not at all suicidal, and increasingly confident about my place in the universe. Some of that of course is simply due to my own hard work and self-exploration, but some is surely due to the fact that I had a relatively rich environment to grow in.

I often get frustrated with this town, and many of my 'progressive' friends do too. There's a lot of wonderful sentiment brewing, but it seldom seems to come to fruition and endure the test of time, due in part to the fact that 2/3 of the town is 'transient' college students who come and go every few years.

But now that I've been here for more than my college studies, I'm on the verge of becoming less frustrated with the community, not more. After all that this town has brought me personally, I have a great deal of hope that together, we can learn to create a better community based on such enduring and worthwhile principles as non-hierarchy, non-violence, ecological integrity, direct democracy, and so on.

It's going to take a whole lot of work, both in the community and in ourselves. And I'm not deluding myself - I realize that it's going to be very, very challenging. But after some of the wonderful things that I've learned in this town, I'm confident that we have the potential to heal ourselves, organize our community, and transform the world. All that remains is embracing that potential rather than doubting it.

Together, we can make it happen!

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At the moment, I'm feeling rather good about the challenges in my life and how I'm experiencing them.

The loss of my laptop shook up my relationship with computers, which was still prone to lingering unhealthy habits [i.e. over-use of computers leading to diminished self-care]. Now, thanks to a deal with a friend I have a desktop computer that more than meets my computing needs.

My financial difficulties are still as pressing as ever, but I've begun to deal with them much better. I've done some work on budgeting, and it looks like I'll be able to scrape by. This has helped me to improve my sense of responsibility and self-reliance. The limited budget has even helped to motivate me to cut down on the massive overconsumption of fats and sugars that has been detrimental to my health even on a diet as healthy as raw foods.

I've finally come to realize that this difficult period of mine wasn't so much a moment of scarcity or abandonment as it was a challenge. Can I learn to work with finite resources? Can I learn to feel safe, happy, and energetic without massive infusions of sweets and unrestrained spending of generous savings?

In reference to my two most recent posts, you might call this the dark at the end of the tunnel. I still have much, much deeper to go in my healing process, but for the moment it looks like the shadows that I've been facing are transforming from fear and adversity to love and inspirational challenge. I thought I already felt good about my earthy-ness, but now I'm feeling better about it. I like life on this wonderful planet of ours, even when it's challenging. Before you know it, I'll be back on track with the newly developing Warrior Healer project and discovering new levels of personal health and fulfillment.

Whatever happens, I can tell already that it's going to be a wild ride! Stay tuned for more details...
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At first I was resistant to the notion that 'the dark' was something for us to reclaim. I wanted light, upliftment, enlightenment, and saw the dark as the realm of ignorance, suffering, violence, confusion. But with each passing day, I see more and more how all of these light-favoring metaphors involve withdrawing from earthiness, flesh, mortality, our very humanity.

Any part of ourselves that we section off and throw away tends to turn quite putrid and come back to haunt us. As a society that embraces metaphors of light and transcendence over dark and immanence, we may have made some wonderful progress in the realms of light, but we've also populated the dark with demons of our own creation. War, poverty, ecocide, and forms of domination and violence may all seem like external enemies for us to battle, but in the end they are the forsaken children of our own consciousness. We must examine ourselves - as individuals, as communities, as societies and nations, in order to find the roots of these sufferings. We must come to understand how our consciousness has spawned these oppressive forces and how it can reclaim the power that we've locked away in the shadows.

In my own life, the evidence of this process has been all too clear. The further I go with my healing, the more I encounter powerful opposition that is in fact my own discarded power and conciousness coming back to haunt me. Right now, the most powerful demon nibbling at my innards is the one associated with my Oral tendencies - not having enough sustenance and time, being impoverished, abandoned, helpless. I'm broke, I'm tired, I'm hungry, and I don't seem to have enough time to get things done. At times this has felt unbearable, but for the moment I can see it all as a part of my learning process. I've known for years now what social, economic, and political forces have been a barrier to my personal and planetary dreams - those demons are all too familiar to me. Now it's time to face the ones that live closer to home, in shadows of my own body, emotions, mind, heart, and spirit. What in my own consciousness is holding me back from abundance?

On that note, I'll get back to work! More soon...
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I've almost finished reading a book called Dreaming the Dark: Magic, Sex and Politics by Starhawk. It's one of her older titles, but sometimes the more things change, the more they stay the same.

This book entered into my life at an appropriate time. With my savings exhausted and my studies at the BBSH set aside indefinitely, I've been doing some serious self-examination. When I peel away all the layers of what I believe in and what I want to work on, who am I? How does this relate to my life's work?

I know myself pretty well, but more and more I've begun to feel myself and be myself rather than focusing my entire attention on some 'higher cause.' Even in the past year, while I've mostly taken a sabbatical from activism to pursue my healing studies, I've still been very hard on myself. It's time to let loose, relax, take good care of myself. Not only will it help me, but in the long run it will help my work. Therefore, I think that I'll focus on this Warrior Healer project and my studies rather than divide my energy any further.

If I didn't know better, I'd think that I was finally taking my own advice! The book I'm working on points out that a healthy self is a foundation from which to build healthy communities and societies. At long last, it looks like I may be taking that tidbit of wisdom to heart. This book has a lot of good input along those lines, so it should be helpful both in rekindling my inspiration for my own book and for supporting me in my own healing and learning journey. Between that and my plans to go meditate out in the woods, you should be hearing a lot more from me soon!
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Hello World!

At the urgings of friends and loved ones, I've decided to start my own blog. Hooray! In this spot, you'll read tales of my latest adventures in pursuit of a deeper understanding of spirituality, politics, health, ecology, and life in general.

The rest of treesong.org digests all of this learning and formulates it into a set of categories and topics. Here at treesong.org/weblog/, you'll get it all live, local, and raw as a big fat durian [but without the sweet sulphur scent]!

This being a blog and all, you'll have much more to read soon. Until then, I invite you to check out warriorhealer.org, a new site hosted on this server.

Thanks for stopping in, and let me know how you like the blog!
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