I saw you from a distance
long blond hair flowing behind you
sharp blue eyes studying the world
lean and shapely body
walking lithe and limber
through the drifting snow.
In your quiet moments
you were like that frozen landscape.
Cool, calm, silent, still.
Even in your stillness
there was a luminosity about you
like a blanket of fresh-fallen snow
brightening the day and night
with your reflected light
even when the sun was hidden.
And yet in an instant
at the sight of a friend
or the promise of adventure
you sprang into motion
broad smile, bright eyes, flushed face
arms wide for a hug
or hopping happily in place.
In these moments
you were like a sudden burst of spring
snow giving way to lush green grass
clouds parting for a brilliant blue sky
sun shining on the face
of whoever had brought joy
into your life.
At first, I saw you from a distance
and found myself speechless
even at a glimpse of you.
When we finally spoke
I found my voice
and asked you to join me
for a night of dinner and dancing.
You said you weren’t a dancer
but liked a good adventure
and so we had a date.
But fate
had another plan.
When I saw you again
I expected the spring
but instead you were
cool, calm, silent, still.
Once or twice
my voice was enough to stir you
with a smile flashing across your lips
and a flush on your fair face.
But the more I spoke
the more you retreated into winter.
My voice was met
with trickle of words
that slowly froze into silence.
When the night came
for our dinner at the dance
you were there
but not with me.
When I looked to you
my voice caught in my throat
as you walked away
at the sight of me.
In that moment
I didn’t see spring
or winter
or summer or fall in you.
I saw nothing
but a blank face
looking away from me.
For a moment
I lost my voice.
For a moment
my chest tightened
my throat tightened
my jaw clenched my mouth shut.
But then I remembered.
I remembered
that this isn’t your story.
This is my story
my mouth, my jaw
my throat, my chest
my voice.
Every moment of spring or summer
fall or winter
that I see in you
is merely a reflection
of what lives in me.
And I will sing for the spring without you.
I will shine like the summer sun without you.
I will fall like the autumn leaves without you.
I will be still like the winter snow without you.
And whether my voice
is booming through the fields and forests of summer
or howling through bare winter trees
or sitting in silence
it is my voice
and since you’ve chosen
to walk away from me
it will never sing for you again.