It started with a pause
a moment when time stood still
so that I could stand
in your presence.
I was buzzing back and forth
between the long green shelves
where boxes and cans
stood together in neat rows
and the room in back
where the leftovers lived
piled on top of each other
in mountains of clutter.
There I was
swept up in the pace of commerce
pacing back and forth
between frontstock and backstock
looking for holes out front
searching for what was missing
digging for nuggets of gold
in the form of some soup or cereal
that would fill the space
left by a customer’s consumption.
Somehow, it was all so consuming
as though placing those products
in smooth, full rows
on those long green shelves
would fill my world
with a similar sense
of fullness and order.
But then I saw you
standing on the other side of a table
sorting through bundles of lettuce
and sharing the occassional smile
in response to some silly statement
springing from my lips.
At first, the words trickled
like a leaky faucet
where water drips as if by accident
with a slow but steady tap
against the cool metal sink.
But soon, the water flowed
like a soft spring rain
so warm, so light, so refreshing
casting rainbows in the clouds
of a world where I’d been lost
in the rusty grey of robotic flesh
pacing back and forth
to place products in holes
that would never stay filled.
It flowed so much
that I found myself stopping
pausing
if only for a moment
so that I could stand with you
and the two of us
could soak it in together
like trees in the same forest
singing a song in the rain.
As time stood still
and I found our words
interrupting the otherwise steady beat
of my feet against linoleum
it dawned on me
just how beautiful you must be
to distract such a single-minded Taurus
from the steady march of manual labor.
And yet
after each pause
each moment of soft song
stolen from the silence
I found myself working harder
because the boxes didn’t seem so heavy
and the day didn’t seem so long
when I knew that I would spend
even a moment or two with you.
As time marched on
this was only the beginning.
We stood together like two old trees
weathering droughts and doubts
blunders and thunderstorms
growing together
as our roots dug deep into the Earth.
In a way, our songs were so different
and at moments
the notes clashed and clattered
like bare branches bristling in the wind.
But discord stumbled into harmony
and we found ourselves
sharing songs in stolen moments
whenever the moment
was there to steal.
Sometimes your song soared
like a rainbow kissing the clouds
and sometimes it sank
like a river of mud
heavy with bitter soil
washed away by cold tears.
And sometimes I saw you there
standing in the balance
between rainbows and mudslides
a Libra at her finest
slowly but surely singing a song
that struck a chord of balance
between the rising crescendoes
and the descent into cacophany.
I have no words for this song you sing
and so I use the words most dear to me
the language of a tree
and I see you
standing as a tree
with your leaves singing in the clouds
like the mist refracting rainbows
and your roots digging in the soil
holding you steady
even in the presence of mudslides.
Standing in your presence
there are moments
when I look into your eyes
and want nothing more
than to sing for you
dance for you
run my fingers through your hair
touch the softness of your skin
and kiss the lips
that have shared such beauty with me.
But I know
that your heart lies elsewhere
and so
this poem is my only kiss
my only dance
my only song sung for you
as a tree sings only for a goddess
I hope that you will
carry it in your heart
as I have carried your words in my own
and in lieu of accepting
a kiss in return
I will simply give thanks
every day
for the songs we are sharing
together.